Rejects

So it's pretty late in the home front but I just can't go to sleep. I know the blogs' been a bit abandoned and I apologize but I don't want to bore you with all my sadness. I promise one day the blog will be a happy piece of sunshine but until then please bare with me. :)

Lately I've been feeling very unwanted, rejected if you will. It's been a chain of events that have made me feel this way. For one, I can't seem to find a job, which, has me very down. Not like sad but actually depressed. Like I've said before this is the first time in a few years that I have nothing to do and I'm going crazy. I honestly feel like I'm letting my partner, parents, and all those I love, down. I can't bear it, I'm not suicidal and in no way do I think that's the way out but I'm pretty down. I don't have anything into which I can focus all my time and energy into. I tried photography but it only satisfies a little/big part of me. I'm only 22 and I feel as tired as a person who's had 4 jobs a day for 50 years with no rest. Does that make sense?

It sucks. I'm supposed to be enjoying this time in my life and instead I've spent a few years obsessing, overanalyzing, and depressed. Even though I have my absolutely amazing boyfriend who at times I feel as if he doesn't truly understand what I mean when I say I'm frustrated. Also, I'm lucky to have Adele to listen to, although the content isn't the same (yet it is) she still gets me. But I digress. Yes I know, sentences shouldn't begin with but.

I want need this feeling to end. This feeling of being unwanted, unneeded, empty, stressed, anxious, this feeling of nothing good or positive.

Anyway, I hope soon enough my little space in the interwebs is like a ray of sunshine in your lives until then don't let me bring you down.

Peace out. :)